is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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