I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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