im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
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