Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
