Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
