I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
