At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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