ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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