My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
