I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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