I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
