I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
