who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Send help, water and tortillas.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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