Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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