Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
