I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
