omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
