didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
