Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize