Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
