what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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