my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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