How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize