wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
