if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize