Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
