In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Sext me about skeletons
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
