Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
