OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
