Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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