my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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