Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
