I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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