woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
This baby is an asshole
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
