i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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