yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
