It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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