hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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