She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
