hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
