okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
