Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
i think im in europe. pls send help
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
