Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
