forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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