Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
my shit smells like andre
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize
