Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
