You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize