See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
