it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
