you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
