He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I wish there were birth control emojis
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
