Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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