I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
i now understand why vodka
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
