Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
