you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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