I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
