Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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