I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
