I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
