Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
