The maid of honor just puked.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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