I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
