She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
When did angry sex become our thing?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
