I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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