Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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