O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
