I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
